I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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