Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.