First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?