What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.