I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.