dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...