Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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