You're so nebulous sometimes
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
