I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
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