I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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