Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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