I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
either way he was missing a nipple.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
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