Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
