he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
