Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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