O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Randomize
