thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think people are normalizing furries
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
