Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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