My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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