i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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