Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The adults are the big ones right?
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
