you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize