Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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