you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
So much Jack, so little girl.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
