there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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