took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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