i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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