Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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