if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
