Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
whose ass print is on the piano?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize