420 ftw
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize