im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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