You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
