quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
They have beer where we have blood.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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