so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
