just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
My ass is underappreciated
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
