New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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