my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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