I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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