I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
