you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
