Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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