Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
