Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
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Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
What drink are we having for lunch?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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