i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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