Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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