I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize