I like to think it a success when the cops are called
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize