Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
