I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Randomize
