I skipped work to stalk him.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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