Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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