Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
