You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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