my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
