We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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