He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
