so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
it's great music for shaving your balls
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
