ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
