how do flat chested girls get laid?
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
