It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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