I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I had to cum in my sink.
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