i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
